Recommended Reading

Two Homes, One Childhood, by Robert Emery, Ph.D – A paradigm-shifting model of parenting children in two homes from an internationally recognized expert. A researcher, therapist, and mediator, Robert Emery, Ph.D., details a new approach to sharing custody with children in two homes. Huge numbers of children are affected by separation, divorce, cohabitation breakups, and childbearing outside of marriage. These children have two homes. But their parents have only one chance to protect their childhood.

Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex- A Hands-on, Practical Guide to Communicating with a Difficult Ex-Spouse Paperback  by Julie Ross and Judy Corcoran   offers many proven communication techniques to help you deal with your difficult ex-husband or ex-wife. By outlining common problems and teaching tools to examine your own role in these sticky situations, this book conveys strategies for effective mediation that are easy to apply, sensible, timely and innovative.

Children’s Bill of Rights in Divorce, by Robert Emery, Ph.D. – Divorced parents still must fulfill their responsibilities to their kids, and in my view, children should have rights in divorced families. Here is my Children’s Bill of Rights in Divorce. If you can give your children these freedoms, you will have gone a long way toward filling your responsibilities as a parent.

  1. The right to love and be loved by both of your parents without feeling guilt or disapproval.
  2. The right to be protected from your parents’ anger with each other.
  3. The right to be kept out of the middle of your parents’ conflict, including the right not to pick sides, carry messages, or hear complaints about the other parent.
  4. The right not to have to choose one of your parents over the other.
  5. The right not to have to be responsible for the burden of either of your parents’ emotional problems.
  6. The right to know well in advance about important changes that will affect your life; for example, when one of your parents is going to move or get remarried.
  7. The right to reasonable financial support during your childhood and through your college years.
  8. The right to have feelings, to express your feelings, and to have both parents listen to how you feel.
  9. The right to have a life that is a close as possible to what it would have been if your parents stayed together.
  10. The right to be a kid.